You Have More Control than You Think

March 6, 2011

Matthew 9:27-29

²⁷ As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!” ²⁸ When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?” “Yes, Lord,” they replied. ²⁹ Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith let it be done to you”

Not more than a few years ago, Rachael was vacationing in Miami Beach enjoying her first chance visit the sunshine paradise. Blocks from the resorts on Collins Ave., across the channel berthing yachts and speed boats, Miami Beach spreads out like most ordinary cities; crowed, smog, noisy, strip malls, and non-descript apartments; save for one that caught Rachael’s eye, perhaps set back sixty feet from the sidewalk.

It was skirted with a long, wide porch on which there were neat rows of rocking chairs warmed by the afternoon sun; each evenly space, in exactly the same position, nothing touching anything. Many of the chairs were occupied by quiet, elderly people, rocking gently to the hum of the traffic and the wafting breeze; every one ... however, just staring ... straight ahead ... at the street.

Rachael says, “I keep thinking, ‘All their lives, everyone on this porch worked hard, loved little, saved what they could, and it’s come to this: eight inches away from each other and no one to talk to.’”

If you ask me, that’s a scary thought. How much of our lives are spent nurturing ourselves until we have nothing left than ourselves.

Is it possible that by the time we are sitting on the porches of retirement homes, rocking quietly in the gentle breezes of an afternoon’s setting sun, that we have been so beat up over the years that this is all we have left?

As Eric Roth wrote in The Good Shepherd, “Do you know what my deepest fear is? That I will end up friendless; completely alone.”

Therapist Laurie Ann Perlman acknowledges we are motivated by needs that develop over years of gratification, frustration, reinforcement and disappointment. They become deeply unconscious and drive us to find associations that will balance our sense of self. We gravitate to things that give us safety, provide trust, allow for intimacy, build self-esteem and help us get some control over our daily grind.

What is it that is going to give us the deepest sense of purpose in our lives?

What is it that is going to address the voids we feel within?

What is it that will determine our blessings?

Have you watched the Dr. Phil show? I catch it once and a while. He’s not that bad at encapsulating patterns and offering perspectives for working through them. Dr. Phil McGraw basically works at "getting real" with behaviors and creating positive lives.

Last week his show was “The Mistress Revealed.” (You can imagine how I thought that we were in for a Jerry Springer, chair-throwing evening.) But, Phil McGraw calmly exposed the destructive belief system that was bringing destructive patterns into a marriage. His first guest-couple were fighting through a husband who had had seven adulterous affairs in five years, and rationalized it on the basis that his wife was too busy raising the kids and his wife was no longer physically attractive to him.

Now I ask you, what was his belief system? He believed in lust

In what had he placed his faith? He put his faith in his libido.

And what blessings had that faith bestowed him? a few minutes of titillating thrills and an alienated wife.

Had he turned his chair to that which God had given to him in the first place, turned his attention to his wife (as God so advises in Eph. 5, Gen. 3, Matt 5, Gal. 5), would he not have found the blessing in the marital sanctity that can be the highest halls of human happiness?

All that most of us do is put our hopes in quick fixes, instant gratification, self-centered satisfaction, driving ourselves to a “Shangri-La” of our own creation ... and it is death.

“Those who sow trouble, reap it.” Job 4:8

“Whoever sows injustice, reaps calamity.” Proverbs 22:8

“They sow the wind and reap the whirlwind. The stalk has no head; it will produce no flour.” Hosea 8:7

“Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly.” 2 Corinthians 9:6

”Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; “

But....”whosoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:8

If I live by my libido, I’ll face the consequences of STD’s, broken trust, betrayal of children. If I live by money, I’ll reap the benefits of its material gains along with its seductive alienation. If I live by power, I’ll gain the blessings of influencing others along with its deep loneliness, its paranoia over losing clout, its isolation from life.

However, as we see in the encounter of Jesus with the two blind men we really need to live in the shadow of God’s mercy, to seek Him, to put ourselves under His way, His truth and His life. In Jesus there is the invitation to turn our chairs towards something that can really heal us, to live for something that can really move us; to trust something that will really renew us.

In effect, God has given us more control over what happens to us than we may have thought. I have free will to choose who and what will by my god, and subsequently to decide what blessings I want to have in my life. The choice is yours.

If I live my myself, well ... count my curses...

If I live by God, well... count my blessings...

³ ... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

⁴ ... they will be comforted.

⁵ ... they will inherit the earth.

⁶ ... for they will be filled.

⁷ ... they will be shown mercy.

⁸ ... they will see God.

⁹ ... they will be called children of God.

¹² Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven! (Matthew 5)

“This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses; life or death, blessings or curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live!” Deuteronomy 30:19

It is up to you. What do you believe in?